


Mark's Madness

by junkieboyfriend



Category: Trainspotting (Movies), Trainspotting Series - Irvine Welsh
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Porn, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Porn, I Love You, Inner Dialogue, Light Porn, M/M, Men Crying, Porn with Feelings, Regret, Sad Porn, crygasm, man vs self, post sex crying, simon yew cunt, vague depictions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junkieboyfriend/pseuds/junkieboyfriend
Summary: Madness is doing something the same way over and over again and expecting a different end result.
Relationships: Mark "Rent Boy" Renton & Simon "Sick Boy" Williamson, Mark "Rent Boy" Renton/Simon "Sick Boy" Williamson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Mark's Madness

It always ended like this, Renton knew it, it happened every time. He knew after a night of drinking they’d stumble away in each other’s arms. He knew it always ended up this way, but he never stopped it. He never even tried. No matter how much it broke his heart, or tore his posters off the wall the next day, or broke him down and brought him to his knees, wondering what he had done to bring this upon himself. What had he done? Nothing. That’s exactly why this was going on. Even though Renton knew it had to end, eventually it had to stop. He invited Simon in again. He let him in his house, in his mouth, in his clothes, in his sheets, it never gets old, does it? 

Every time before Simon’s lips ever touch his own, he knows it will only end in disaster. But he touches those lips anyway, he reaches his hands under Simon’s name brand shirt regardless, he stares into those dark lustful eyes anyway, and nothing else matters. He’s going down but Simon’s coming with him. At least for now; at least until the sun comes up. 

Their tongues collide. 

_ \- Renton, stop this. _

Simon’s taking him to his room.

_ \- You know it never ends well. _

He’s helping Mark out of his clothes.

_ \- Mark, you know it’s not right. _

Their body’s collide, skin against skin.

_ \- Renton, you’re going to hell, burning for sin. _

Simon whispers sweet nothings in Mark’s ear.

_ \- If Simon isn’t right, then I want to be wrong. _

They collide like asteroids in space, nearly becoming one with each other; but humans weren’t meant for that intimacy… No creatures seemed to be.

Mark lays beneath his best friend, the one he’s known for years. The one that made him eat dirt, that mocked him in school, the one who got all the birds, the one who was ‘oh so cool’, the one that everyone wanted. Mark wanted him so bad and ached to be wanted like that. 

But as Simon lays him back beneath him, and looks at him so tenderly. When they share this moment, as drunk as it seems, it’s beautiful yet never enough, but it’s all they’ve got right now. 

When Mark feels himself being penetrated it’s like he’s alive again, finally, he can feel. Simon gives him unrelenting pleasure. It’s always so beautiful, always so perfect, Simon’s hips never faltering as he pleasures Mark. Renton’s hips always feel like they’re close to snapping just before it gets really fucking good, and the tighteness was telling him there was a light on the horizon. 

They shake and shiver together, as if being reborn more authentic people. Mark’s genuine pleasure is undeniable as Simon lets out strings of curses and Italian, then returns to English only to praise Mark. Renton knew Simon became a much kinder, gentler person when he was plowing the ginger, becoming even romantic at points. It was the reason he allowed himself to be touched in such ways, to be relentlessly fucked by someone who he knew wouldn't commit. Every time it was so fucking good and every time he could convince himself, even for a moment, that it was true.  _ That maybe he was loved. _ But only for a moment.

As Simon leans back, Renton’s legs in the air, getting plowed in his parental home much too loudly for Billy to not know, Mark knows what’s soon to come. He simultaneously dreads and awaits it desperately. For Simon to tell him what Simon always fucking tells him and for him to believe it for just a second. The fool he fucking was. But he was a fool for Simon, that much was true. 

Quickly, he leans back down, resting on his forearms, his head bowed as he gives his all into his friend. Sweat dripping from his brow, the familiar shaking was telling him it was going to happen soon. He was ready, he wanted the validation, even if it was only a moment. Because he knew he would never get that moment from sober Simon, never in a million fucking years.

Tears well in Mark’s eyes and he looks away because he knows what Simon is about to say.

“Mark! OH Mark! Ah-!”

The tears are going to begin pouring out of Renton’s eyes, he knows it. _ It happens every single time. _

“Mark, Ah love yew.” Simon groaned as he filled his friend 

Renton’s cock shot off at the validation as tears poured from his eyes.

Simon said this  _ every time _ .  _ Every time _ he cried like he meant it. Mark wanted to tell him no, he didn’t love him, because he always fucks off in the morning. But for a moment, Mark tells himself he is loved. For a moment, Mark lives how he wishes he could. 

“Ah love yew too.” Renton replied, heart breaking in his chest.

_ They always did this and it always ended the same. _


End file.
